This Time Imperfect ~ Completed ~

[Catcher Reeves]

Binging the days away, hours had slipped by like seconds. Ever since he had lost his cool and phased in front of Candi, he had let what broke between him and Natasha fester like an infected wound. It just got worse as the separation and ignoring continued; he didn’t call her or try to see her. Her name never appeared on his phone either. Things were going back to the way they were before he had returned, all the way to when they were in high school. This was almost the new normal. Their mutual stubbornness and lack of words for each other was eating at him but he refused to yield. Sometime the backbone would break and he would cave but each day they remained giving one another the cold shoulder, he wondered on and off what she was thinking or doing; doubting they ever had anything. Only four more years to go.

It was getting to the point he wanted to straighten himself out only to never see her again, forget her completely and destroy everything he thought they shared; murder that part of him. He had done it before, he could do it again now; he was still him. Suffering was strengthening the pain into nothing with every moment he survived. It wrecked him into believing that nothing was worth anything. She was living her life and he was a dreamer; it set him on fire and he wanted to run for his life. Half the time he convinced himself they were always a fleeting adventure and it was his fault that he ever opened that door to more for her. The rest of his mind asked himself what else there was for him to say, feeling that he was truly losing the connection; a little relief that he was possibly leaving her behind as he had done with Veronica. In his heart he fought the likelihood he couldn’t find anyone better than her but also the idea that he didn’t need her even if that was true.

He didn’t want to talk to anyone about it as he wrote his own pain, and he followed Cloud’s lead in the aftermath to erase their history; an endless direction going nowhere. He just wanted to watch the world fall apart so that he was not the one brought to his knees. Waiting for the end of times because he felt he was in his own. Whatever his brother wanted him to do, he did and he knew everyone in that circle was aware he was experiencing a voluntary break down. They just didn’t understand that he needed to in order to move on and he desperately clung to that ultimate freedom. She didn’t mean a thing, why did he full on pretend? There was a way to change but he didn’t want to; he would leave it until the last minute, seeing if it was going to just pass. Time would make the decision for him, give him the right answer. It was too difficult to trust himself or Natasha and he was in denial of any form of help, thinking he knew all that they deserved.

For everything in his life up until then, he had been able to get over, to pick himself up in a period of loneliness and self-reflection; there was strength to empower him in not having to deal with things the way everyone around him kept trying to set up. When he just gave it time, he was out of his mind but his emotions changed like the seasons, a system that meant he could prolong one or turn them over at will; he would have control. His friends were trying to help in ways he just didn’t believe in and he was afraid he would be left empty handed in the effort. Still, he was already healing and he knew what he was going to do about her; nothing at all. She had everything she wanted now; their fall out was the way it should be. Heartbreak hotel was just a temporary stay; fate wanted this for him. He got what he went after her for.

That was until he sat here with Claude, drugged up with a miscellaneously toxic anti-depressant mixed with ecstasy. He should have known in his messed state he would wind up worse off but temptation was hard to resist in desperation. Booze, recreational drugs, sleep and being himself regardless of Candi was ending soon; he had a deadline. In a few days he was out of there, this town that was misery and happiness; that was sadness becoming motivational and all he saw was a morphing figure of Claude with inspiration. It was as demented as falling into wonderland to find clarity. In the night, he was walking in circles to fend off the stupor.

Down by the creek he followed the feeling of forced euphoria, drifting away from the tree-house as he wandered until dim streetlights came into view. He found his bike and got on, forgetting some of his resolutions and uncaring about what he even had to prove, whether he had any coordination to win and how he appeared to be getting through it. In his mind he was wide awake, mentally sharp but on the outside, he was dazed and not processing how bedraggled and worse for wear he had been for weeks. Was he on a highway to hell or the way out of it? Deluded, slightly drunk but metabolizing, he wanted to travel back in time, feeling like he could rise like a sun doing whatever he wanted, riding wild eyed as he drank the last can of experimental beer Claude gave him as he left.

Side-tracked as he passed the vast campus in the city, he drove in a slow, repetitive promenade to relive what had happened until he couldn’t anymore. There was an eerie silence, a mere cricket and a flickering, dying light bulb keeping him company as he sat chucking the can into a bin, blank with self-loathing. The slow torture written on his face before he adjusted to the sound of a pair of voices coming down the wide stairway of her dormitory; hours after accepting everything she had said to him and reading between the lines of what she didn’t tell him, he could have cried tears of blood. He didn’t mean a thing. He had to love what he was doing or never look back; live with every breath and do this on his own.

He wished she had told him something more, something else, everything she didn’t want to say. Given him a reason. They were finishing their chapter yet both beginning a new one; did he find himself here for the sake of a goodbye? They were already wasted. Did he need to waste the last chance to repair their friendship even if they could have no more of a relationship? Everything went to shit. He was fucked up she couldn't be right there. He couldn’t get away from her or make her stay; they were probably gone. For a few months at a time he would be and for that he was guilty, it wasn’t just up to her. Making sense of her hurt deeply and he failed to acknowledge what he could do about it; he was stuck in reverse, wanting to be far from where they ended up, closer to the start. The world couldn’t be spinning too fast for them; she was going to be just a girl he used to know.

Candela had found a little pendant in the house and he held onto it now, running the chain through his fingers as he decided to return it to Natasha. Trying to shake off the fact that he still cared, he clasped it in his fist and rushed to stop a door from closing behind someone who had the keycard access. The residence hall receptionist almost saw him as he ducked and ran after the stairwell the night man had opened to mop; skipping steps up the flight. It was nostalgic he had been here and bittersweet that it was probably the last time if things had collapsed the way he suspected they had. This surely was a dream in which everything had stayed the way it should and the long corridor to her room was elongating every second so he never needed to reach his destination.

Then he did and the door was in his face. It blamed him in his hallucination, and it echoed his cocktail of anger, depression and hope; all the willingness to cope with however way she reacted if she just told him what she wanted. Knuckles barely rapping the door to knock, his hand opened and just slapped onto it, dragging down in a rewind, unsure. Catcher sighed, staring at the carpeted floor, seeing lights and shadows under the gap as he turned, leaning against it, deliberating how to do this and what to say, having the cloudiest of minds and not the faintest idea. Everyday was yesterday until he could make her come back. Days on the calendar faded as each morning darkened more than the nights, but for her it was just a passing day. Receiving her love didn’t mean he could have it…and he dangled the locket until it swung; a pendulum covering time that didn’t pass for him. He was sick of being screwed, keeping his head up and always moving on, trying to find out what it means. Feeling this adrenaline and wanting her to let him in, in that room and in her secrets. He was fatal like a gun and this was suicide; he was never done doing the same things, never done with her.

[Natasha Black]

Her last day at home ended in a disaster of her own making. She left, spiralling out like a hurricane, leaving all the destruction she caused behind her. After what had happened at Catcher’s house, finding Candi in his bed, she exploded. It wasn't only emotionally, but she revealed to Candi who she really was. She was an insecure, jealous woman who also happened to be a wolf at her core. She thought she had made it clear that she truly disliked Candi. Why did it have to be her? Why was it that the catcher defended her? She had originally thought she didn't want anything more than a summer fling, but her feelings for him had developed more than she had thought possible. They are what fueled her rage-induced phasing. She had been so upset, so hurt that she just lashed out, not believing a word he said. Now summer is over, just like how she originally said she hadn't wanted anything permanent with Catcher. He had made himself clear too by defending Candi the way he did. She felt like she was tossed aside, like she didn't matter to him. She should have just told him how she felt before everything ended like it did. If only she could go back and tell him she cared about what they had, maybe things wouldn't have imploded. It would have probably turned out better than feeling like her world had crumbled into nothing.

The two weeks that had passed since she moved into the dorm had been a needed transition. Instead of filling herself with alcohol or drugs to keep her mind occupied, she was focusing on her herbological studies. The light from her computer screen lit up her face as she sat on her bed with her legs crossed, finishing her last assignment for the week. It was one of those tasks the professor gave out to judge your understanding of the reading material you were told to study. Nothing too stressful, but she wanted to finish it before getting ready to go out tonight. It was Friday, which meant tonight she was expected to be this little Latina's wingwoman. She didn't mind going out with Isla. It was nice to have something to do instead of staying in again, thinking about what Catcher might be doing tonight. Her fingers clicked out the last few words on her document, and she quickly attached it to an email. She made one last click on the computer and shut the lid. Her eyes moved over to Isla, sitting on her bed across the room, looking nicely dressed for the evening.

Okay, I'm all finished. It won't take me long to get ready. I promise. " She smiled at her roommate and got up from her bed, placing her laptop down on her nightstand. It accidentally nudged the end of a wooden framed photo, almost causing it to topple off the edge of a small table, but she rushed to catch it so it wouldn't fall and break. She looked at it for a moment, then sat it back down carefully, making sure it wouldn't fall off and break. "Do you think two weeks is long enough to let someone cool off?" She picked up her phone and looked at the screen for a second. There were no missed calls or texts. Sighing, she tossed it down on the bed and moved over to her closet. She wanted Catcher to message her or even call her. He hadn't; it had been complete silence. She was beginning to think she was right; he didn't care about her. Her stubbornness was also getting in the way. She didn't want to message first.

She pulled out a pair of faded distressed jeans, a black tank top, and a red leather jacket, setting them down on her bed. It would be her outfit choice for this evening. It was sexy enough to mingle but tough enough to tell the idiots to back off. Paired with her combat boots, she'd look like she was ready if the world fell into a zombie apocalypse. Pulling her hair up into a ponytail, a small crescent moon was visible behind her ear. She had gotten Feather to do it in secret before she left. She got it to remember wherever she was, Catcher, and she would always be under the same moon. She ran her fingers over it. He meant so much to her, and all she did was act like a shallow little flirt, not letting him see any deeper than that. She didn't regret getting it, but if things never got better between them, it would always be a reminder of what she once had.

It was the second or maybe third night after she moved in that Tash told Isla what her tattoo meant. She let it all out. She cried about what had happened before she left home. How she felt about Catcher and why she hadn't told him about her feelings He had literally saved her life in more ways than just on the beach. Without him, she wouldn't have realised she could be happy again. Catcher was her hero, someone who she thought she could trust, but it was just all some fantasy. She spent hours crying, and Isla comforted her. She was this moral compass, helping her make sense of everything. They had become so close, she was like the sister she always needed. There was little she didn't tell her now. There was only one thing she hadn't shared with Isla, but one day she would probably be ready to share that too. She was still trying to figure it out on her own. It was why she had chosen to focus most of her studies on plants.

She pulled on jeans under her dress, doing them up quickly before slipping it off like a t-shirt and chucking it into the laundry basket in the corner. She pulled the black tank over her head and sat down, looking at Isla. "You know, I was talking to Evan today. He was telling me how he hoped he'd see me at the party tonight. I wouldn't be surprised if he stopped by to make sure I was coming. He's nice and all, but I'm really not in a place where silly pick-up lines are going to win me over. " It almost made her have some sympathy for Veronica, having to go through that with Raf, but that was another bridge she burnt down too. She had been a wrecking ball of her own doing. breaking her friendship down to almost nothing either. Feather was the only person she had been talking to from her past. She was the one who informed me that she was on a path that could lead to a dissatisfying future.Natasha didn't believe in all her spiritual mumbo-jumbo. She should have, because Feather was right about it all.

It was good that she started at the academy when she did. The transition was like a restart button. Everywhere she went, there was always someone trying to make small talk. It was nice to feel accepted and to be seen as approachable. It has been hard sometimes to meet all these new people. It was getting hard to keep people's stories straight. She walked over to her little leather backpack purse hanging on her desk chair and pulled out a small compact. She flipped it over and used the little mirror and her finger to smudge on some brown eyeshadow and applied some mascara. She was ready to leave whenever her roommate was. You don't really need me tonight. Derek really likes you. Just ask him out. Derek was a little nerdy, but he was nice. Besides that, things didn't work out with him. There were still more guys in the school that would be lucky to be with her.

Natasha heard a noise at the door, assuming it was probably Evan. "One minute." She walked over to her nightstand and grabbed three THC gummies out of the drawer and jammed them in her mouth. If she is going out tonight, she needs them to keep her going. It wasn't something she ever depended on before meeting Cloud, but she had learned it helped her mellow out a bit. It helped cut whatever mood she might experience down to a manageable level to help her keep her cool. She grasped the knob firmly in her hand and laughed at Isla, as if she was psychic and it was Evan like she said.

The wooden barrier swung open and she was hit with his scent. It was so strong it made her stop in the doorway, frozen in place. Her heart stopped and a tear began to well up in her eye. She stared at him, mouth half open, unable to say anything but his name, ""Catcher?!" She couldn’t escape all the emotions she'd felt for the past few weeks. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him in tightly for a hug. She felt like she was dreaming. He didn't even call, and now he was just there, for whatever reason. Natasha was grateful. She kept holding onto him, taking in as much of his smell as possible. She did not want to let him go because if she did, he might disappear, fade away with the absence of touch. She almost completely forgot about Isla. She very slowly let her arm slip off Catcher and moved out of the doorway. At that moment, all plans for the evening were at a standstill. Tash looked over at Isla, wondering, after all their talks, what she was thinking. "Just give me a second, okay? You can head downstairs if you want. I'll meet you there in a few. " She didn't want to completely abandon her friend, but right now the party wasn't where she wanted to be. She would stay right there in the hallway all night if Catcher would stay right there with her.

She looked back at Catch standing there, her hands hung at her sides, lips pressed together, studying his face. She was having a hard time trying to lock on to any certain emotion. Her eyes met his. She could help it, but every time she stared into them she was pulled in like the moon controlling the tide. It took her a moment to find something to say to him. "You know, my birthday was last week. If you are here to surprise me, you are a little too late. "

[Catcher Reeves]

Dwindling at that door knob, he was about to step back when it flew open. He showed up like bad news. The gust from the force in the entrance inverted into the room and his hair fluttered in the vacuum. Their eyes stared at him in shock and his shifted back and forth between the two girls until Natasha broke the silence. She hugged him and all the ice within tumbled in an avalanche. It was that first fell swoop she always took to him, the first move like she was putting all their pictures back into the frames and his heartstrings twisted around her finger. Taken aback, he had no expectations left when he came but now she was defying what he wanted to predict as always. She made him feel like he didn’t need to try, like the music never stopped and he didn’t have to make a sound when she gave him what he needed. She lets him down then made him high again. It made him give all his secrets away and he ached that he couldn’t make her do the same.

He kept trying to think twice but they moved in sync, side stepping to let Daniella leave; they didn’t know each other but a sense of condescension and wonder wafted to him from her roommate. The short girl was spiky towards him as she passed, concerned eyes lingering on him as her footsteps died down the hallway. He barely acknowledged her but it felt like a frost came in the Summer. She was another complication to their time. It only made him want to derail whatever plans they had together more; he was troubling advice for Natasha right then. He just wanted the life he had with Natasha even if they might not want each other back. She didn’t need to meet Daniella anywhere; they were going somewhere she had wanted him to go or he would never leave. If some nights were all they were good for, all he was supposed to be for then he just wanted her close.

There was no best reason but he had no shame. Daniella was nothing more than a name like everyone else there. She was just another critic jumping the line and he didn’t care about her or anyone at the dormitory; not another soul on the whole campus. They couldn’t be him and know all the places and people he did, or see his life out of a window. He lost himself tonight but it was by Natasha’s side.
Times like these called for true romance but she wasn’t ready. Some people tried but they couldn’t find the magic. If he couldn’t make her feel the same, it didn’t matter; they could look for something new. If everybody knew where they were going in their lives, they wouldn’t go anywhere. The only way she would ever know anything was to do it all so he was going to let her and do the same. With every broken bone he had sworn he lived and he remembered everything he told her at the beach. She had the same heartbeat but she was falling behind and he just needed to bring her out from the background; they were the cool kids.
Not knowing why she was just playing with his mind, a part of him loved it like she was just his type and he needed more for them than he ever would just a one night stand. He felt alive when he was close to the madness, no easy love would ever make him feel the same. In the missing weeks he realised he never wanted to react that day and this time he wasn’t going to do what he had done; the cause and effect could change her to give him everything she wouldn’t.

When she accused him of being too late, he looked at her with his entertainment undisguised. He had missed her birthday; it was true but he never forgot it and he rubbed his chin as he studied her, wolfishly unafraid. Whatever went on that day, he didn’t want to spoil it with a single word when they were the way they had been. It wouldn’t be until next year to be better than it had been and he didn’t want to know what surprise others had in store for her here while he was out of the picture. It was too late to apologise and he wasn’t going to.

”Who said anything about surprising you?”
Something about the way she stood and reprimanded him before he had made any intentions clear reminded Catcher of the old her. His lips curled slowly, delighted as if a war had been won; he was a devious stare cast to sway her as he leaned over.”You don’t want to go with her…” A demon after her own heart, he moved to touch her neck, a hand sliding through the edge of her hair as he spoke quietly, his words a light breath of poison in her ear. ”I’ll let you make it up to me…”

He had been so near that he withdrew just enough not to feel the heat of her skin, waiting for her to make her choice and sign this contract with him. Heavy with tension, his head tilted to let his eager gaze drift between her eyes and her lips, suggestive and underhandedly bargaining for the favour as his hand flitted away from where it was, a finger tracing down to hers to take it. He was beckoning her to disappear the same way he came, the thirst and hunger of separation a danger in his yearning; every kind of risk she should take. ”She won’t even notice...”

Urging her to break curfew, he listened to the emptiness in the building as his heart beat faster, awakened by rebellion and desires for her.

[Natasha Black]

His words filled her ear like a silver tongued assassin,there was no way to escape the power he had over her . Like a Jedi with a flip of the hand, his finger traced her neck it made her forget all her plans for the evening as though they crumbled like dust at her feet never to be thought of again. “No I don't..” She took in the closeness not wanting it to end. He pulled away slightly and it allowed her to take a breath. “I’m not sure how I'm supposed to do that but I’m sure I can figure something out. ” A sly smile danced across her face and he could feel his fingers teasing her and she grabbed a hold of his hand.She moved close and her lips met his. She was sealing her deal with the devil. Tonight she would be all his and forever if he wanted it to be. He'd be the puppet master,she let him control her destiny tonight.

There was no way Isla would be able to drag her along to the party now, it wasn't even a competition he had just strolled through and was about to take away his prize. Hed would always been the winnner when it came to her.Catcher was the keeper of the keys,only her be able to open the cross the threshold of her soul.She rocked back and forth on her heels knowing she couldn't just leave her friend waiting on her without an explanation, for all Isla had done for her she deserved better. The door to her room was still wide open so pulling him in along with her she grabbed her phone of the night stand . She quickly sent off an apologetic message saying she wouldnt be making it. She really had nothing to apologise for because this was an impromptu reunion one that she was wishing for.”Okay, let's get out of here.” Tucking her phone in her jacket pocket, she pulled Catcher back out of the room quickly closing the door behind her. She knew that she would be totally off the hook with her roommate but all she needed to do to fix anything was to wake up early Monday morning and bring her coffee.

Dragging him down the hall, she wanted to escape this place, there would be too many eyes to spy on them to make little bits of gossip to share with others who regularly ventured the halls. She didn’t care much, in a few weeks someone else would be the center of attention and she would just be like another passing thought.Natasha still didn't know what made him come and she didn't want to ask. All that mattered was that Catcher was right here filling the void she had been missing since storming out of his house and fleeing her feelings. She didn't want to push him away so tonight she let her heart be made of glass,allowing her true feelings to me known all he would have to do was ask. "We need to do something fun, get as far away from here as we can."

Guiding him down the stairs, Isla was just about to walk out the door and It looked like Evan was coming to retrieve them. It looked as though he was about to wave at her but he stopped, she assuned its becuse he saw her hand wrapped around Catcher’s. The look on his face turned from excitement to disappointment, like he had just lost all hope of chances of getting with her . She ignored Evan completely, passing him without any acknowledgment to his existence. She looked at Isla telling her not to wait up and walked out into the night. Tonight there would be no fault in their stars and she would go against her nature to be swept away by the tidal wave of emotions.

[Catcher Reeves]

For a split second he heard her try to be responsible about her prior commitments and he blocked it out with a skeptical look. They were having too much fun. All he saw were green lights in his lust for love; there was nobody there just them together in her lust for life. He would figure out a way to handle Daniella if it really came down to it; it mattered how much she needed a good friend even if that girl most likely despised him. He was and always would be that phantom in the night luring her out until one day she would never return; there was no need for them to hesitate. She may have sealed her deal with a kiss but he wanted her to sell him her soul as his eyes followed her movements.

Holding off on giving the pendant back and exposing the reason for him being there, he wasn’t going to lose her over that plan which went up in smoke the moment she took his hand. The necklace he had been clutching had been hidden in his back pocket so discreetly even he barely remembered when he did it. While she had maneuvered him to rush into her room and text someone he assumed was Daniella, he had scanned her room to catch a glimpse of her dorm life; he had never been to her house before because of Billy and Jake. This was the closest thing to a personal space he would ever have the fortune of standing in and it was current; a representation of the new her and he was curious enough he didn’t focus on how time and time again she kissed him before he could. How each time she made him think they should be in bed touching feet, losing breath. All the affection he had lacked from her since she moved in here was an overwhelming pine to hear the beat he revived in her heart, his head on her chest. Until then they were incognito in a lucid dream.

In these stolen moments, the world was theirs and they ran down the hall. She had shut her room as though they were thieving away and he looked around for the invisible eyes behind the numbered doors. She didn’t want anyone to know and he smirked sinfully at the idea, running with her hand in his. They took off through the building, their childish disobedience transcending who they were now. It felt so good but hurt so bad and he pushed away all feelings of betrayal that she could just as easily be this way with someone else. But, there was no one else, and he had to stop feeling it in his veins, in his blood and walk off the edge of that knife.

If he was honest, he didn’t know where this led but that was the only question and she kept him guessing. Tonight would be like blue skies forever if she made him a promise; if he could make her fall for him in the hell of it. They were still young with wanderlust and he jumped headfirst into infatuation from wanting her, her fears of doing the same surrounding them. She could be the master of her own fate with him but she captained that ship away from it. He had finally been reminded of the irreversible damage her imprint caused to her psyche. He just wanted her to know that with him, it would never happen to her and he longed for that to keep her alive. The pity in that meaning they were not destined for each other by the curse.

”You chose where we’re going a long time ago.” He answered her, unable to hide a glowing smile as he watched her wonder while dashing down the steps outside the entrance. The mystery was not much of one; this place was where she had wanted to surprise him weeks ago and in the turn of events, now they could share in the surprise since she had to surmise where that was. He wanted to hear her excitement, see her light up so he could feel the kind of happiness they were both missing without each other thus he gave her a hint. ”You’re going to have to be my soft cuddly thing if I don’t get to hold one…” As if he wanted to hold anything other than her, he said casually before pushing the glass door that was swinging open beside Daniella as she made her way out.
He glanced at the girl and said nothing again. If he had his way Natasha wasn’t coming back here tonight. He wouldn’t drop her off until Monday even if everyone had to know; he’d love to claim her and mess up her notoriety in however ways most preposterous. He fancied the pride in such a declaration.
Someone else was approaching, but before he could feel the last hindrance go, a man who seemed to be staring at them almost waved, completely puzzled as Catcher picked up pace and tugged at Natasha’s hand to bring her over where the bike was parked at the foot of the wide stone stairs. After what happened to break them he felt no more of the many stupid emotions towards the guys around Natasha; he was seeing the light that made her more desirable. It was time to be himself once more, he was made for this; cranking up to the competition because deep down he liked that drive.

He had pulled out his keys while they headed out, and readily ignited the engine, taking the time as she got on behind him to regard the two figures who were entranced. Then without warning, he rode them off into the deserted streets. The moon in the sky was their sunset, that endless highway with haunting wind that made him feel they entered a portal to another world. Like a shot, all the problems felt resolved and they were in this July forever.

Knowing the journey would be swift but seduced by the chemical reaction of nothing stopping them, he was in a timeless memory where nothing would replace how it felt having her hold onto him.
In a trice, he slowed at a strangely isolated gas station, half the overhead lights switched off as the store adjoining it still had an open neon sign; the windows plastered with posters and flyers. It was an obscure little pet shop that sold exotic items and he just left the bike in a disorganized position, abruptly pulling out the keys to walk over to the door, stopping only to look at Natasha with a juvenile grin. ”Come on, you said you wanted to feed them. We’ll get everything you want… anything at all.”

This quaint shop was in front of a sloped forest, dangerous for humans but nothing they couldn’t trespass and he knew where a path parted to. There was an area one could easily get lost in, across immense trunks of fallen oak, where the edge perimeter of the sanctuary was. It was the back area where the predators were kept at the zoo and a secluded road led to the gate only used for transporting supplies; the aluminium side fence chained for miles but had a sectioned gateway like a paddock that was loose and unchecked, degraded over neglect and unsecured. He had never had to share this information with anyone, each time he had been to the trail and paused to watch the leopard impatiently circling and listen to a peacock shrieking, just alone in a trek; fascinated by the concept of experiencing nature juxtaposed with captivity.

Entering, he held the flimsy way-in ajar with his foot and half waved at the old man in the shop; he had been here before for Claude’s Chihuahua and there were shop animals he liked to pet as he couldn’t have any. Catcher had no idea if Natasha even liked animals but she had expressed she wanted to feed some and he contemplated the joke that was her methods of putting up with the nightmare that was Blue, the eternal sunshine that was Claude and the large kitten that was Cloud.She had more experience with pets than she realised. Here an obese Labrador and two cats served the customers, earning treats and licking hands, in the fore front of a display of tropical fish and strange reptiles. Bags and bags of feed for every known exotic pet lined the shelves in messy rows and various shapes with one of the cats asleep in the midst, a squashed lump, as the dog came over and sat down expectantly.

[Natasha Black]

Her face said it all, one mention of the promise she had made where he got to hold something soft and fluffy. Her surprise at him had never been fulfilled. She regretted not taking him but the fallout had put an end to way more than expected. She was the cause of this imperfect timeline in their lives but like a time jumper he was here trying to put the pieces back into proper alignment. It was as if he had taken her plan and made it his. She didn't care as she could help him fulfill one of his dreams.He had told her once how much he likes koalas the fuzzy little creatures though called bears were usually very nice and gentle. She wouldn't have had a better idea tonight,so she was glad he had remembered her little comment she made at the tattoo shop she didn't think would, so it must have taken up residency in his mind as a great adventure.

Being led to his bike,her heart thumbed excitedly in her chest, she always wanted to ride on the back of his bike but never had the chance to before. She hopped wrapping her arms tightly around him. Holding him so close, she could feel the worn leather of his jacket below her finger and she rested her head on his back as he took off down the road. Just feeling him beneath her fingers it reminded her about moments they had shared at the beach,when her fingers traced across his chest feeling the unevenness of some of his ribs beneath her fingers.

The scars she had left on him when she left home were not visible but she knew they were probably still there underneath the excitement. She wouldn't let her demons reopen those wounds she wanted to mend their world back together tonight. She gave all her feelings away to him if he wanted them. She kept her eyes closed through the whole ride, committing how holding felt to her memory knowing that tonight would have to end, though she didn't want it to. She felt him slowing down and Tash opened her eyes.

She hopped on the Motorcycle with him. She didn't know what this place was but she didn't have to Catcher had it sorted this part of their adventure out. "Of course you are the one to know where to find treats for zoo animals." She couldn’t resist the grin that had lightened up his face. She followed behind him as he led the way down to this unassuming store, walking in her eyes and fell upon the squishy looking chocolate labrador who was way too loved for his own good. Kneeling down she presses her forehead against his before giving him a few pats and kissing him on the top of his head. She liked dogs but would never have one of her own. She always knew there was something deeper happening inside their minds that most people wouldn't understand.

Dusting off her knees,she stood up and smiled at Catcher, hoping he didn't find her little moment with the cubby canine strange. Looking around the store eyes wide trying to take in the place. There were all kinds of toys and food for any pet imaginable. Tanks of fish lined the store and she let her eyes fall upon them.. Her mind went to Cloud and Feather for a second wondering if their eyes would chase the fish around like cats looking to grab a snack. It made her chuckle a bit. She wasn't sure if Catch would find this funny but she didn't mention it because it was such an obscure thought. It must have been the cat smell that brought them into her mind, because she didn't want to think about anything else but the moment she was in now.

A fluorescent light flickering on and off in the back corner kept stealing her focus off of why they were here. Tash brought it back around to stroll the shelves. She wasn't sure what they would be seeing inside the gates but she knew whatever they ran into would be only an experience and Catcher would share. He was the captain of the evening, she was his treasure to do anything with. He could cherish her forever,keeping her safely away from other bandits when they want her for themselves. She would want to experience this with anyone else. Knowing most of the animals they see would be okay to eat vegetables, she opened a little fridge and pulled out some premade veggie mix and grabbed a bag of western Timothy hay. "You know I had a pet rabbit once, he was black and white. Her name was popcorn. I know it's a weird name, don't laugh." She couldn’t help but to laugh at herself. It brought back old memories of living at home in Canada with her father who later found out was actually her uncle. It's weird how life changed things. "When I grew up we always over cooked our popcorn, some would be white other black." It was.a moment I had never thought about often. It made her miss where she grew up but if she never took the opportunity to get out she would have never met Catcher.

She didn't know if they would be feeding any carnivores but just in case she picked up a bag of raw steak cubes. She hoped if they saw anything big who ate meat they would appreciate the thought. She had a soft spot for the bigger creatures; it might have something to do with her being one herself. Just because they had large teeth and could take down fully grown animals didn't make them monsters. They were just often misunderstood by many. It had been her dream when younger to work at a zoo, be a part of the animals' lives making sure they have a happy enriched experience, but her dreams evolved and changed just like she had.

Waiting Catcher was going to grab anything so brought the items she had required up to the counter, smiled at the man at the counter and went to find one of the cats to give it a pet before they left this store behind, for the evening which would be forever burnt into her memory.

[Catcher Reeves]

As Natasha kissed the dog and petted it in a familiar way, he was a mixture of awe and cheer. He wouldn’t have known how to react if she had been disgusted by the animal; he had seen girls like that before and it made him instantly uncomfortable enough his opinion of them changed as quickly as flipping a page. It seemed like he always knew the most unusual places but he did have an inclination to exploring the atypical in the night, less bizarre than Claude but not too far off. He had been joking about the cow people but a part of him had found some factuality and hid that in the suggestion; every just kidding came from something real. Maybe they were just the two people who had too much time on their hands. He often haunted the streets for the gems in the alleys and thought of Feather when he saw something interesting although he had yet to find anything she might not already own but would love to collect. It was locked in the back of his mind that she was one of the most appreciative and sensitive people he had ever met.

”I’m just lucky people like to keep baby goats, piranhas and things that also live in the zoo.” Catcher had no idea what they would have been able to give animals aside from bird feed or fresh meat and genuinely felt like this shop was a godsend. Claude probably thought the same considering he was always finding random creatures like the opossum and experimenting diets for Blue because he believed he was a raptor in disguise. He would never have seen anyone feed raw moose bone to a tiny pocket dog but it disturbed him how Blue unleashed ferocity defined, on the carcass, while Claude baby talked about how great the dog was being.

Walking after her, he touched some chew toys and looked at fun accessories that were better made than many for humans. Hearing her chuckle, he turned to look at the fish tanks, staring into all the rainbow coloured aquatic life, wondering what Cloud would do if he gave him a flamboyant fighting fish. It would probably be breathing mary-jane infused water before eventually dying from a drug that fell in the tank; Cloud would probably cry over it and Feather would make him give it a ceremonial send off. Realistically she would do really well caring for fish since she was vegan and a cat, just the way she was; it gets complicated being a shape shifter.

”That’s pretty funny… but it works.” At first he was thinking, ‘but popcorn is a buttery yellow’ then she explained and it warmed his heart. If he could laugh it would be with her not at her; he didn’t receive much of her fondest memories normally or the sweeter side so this was cherished. Rabbits unexpectedly seemed to suit her; the old her he thought was still somewhat within. It was difficult to wrap his head around the idea that she might have died and been reborn someone else in the same physical form so he retained some beliefs she was still the version who loved Quil for the sake of not getting in too deep. For her sake that although he was not the one, it was because that person was still out there and she was bound to find them; he really just tried to convince himself anything along the lines of this to get over the fact that he didn’t want her to be interested in any one else the same way. Be invested in someone more seriously than she was ever going to be in him.
”We should find you a bunny tonight.” Going over to the counter, he looked at her while he spoke, a cheekiness growing as she opened up. Laying a note on the counter before tossing everything she picked up into a bag and taking it with him, he didn’t bother with any of the change as he still hated it and walked outside before pausing to change direction. ”I think we need something for ourselves.”
The gas station was open twenty four hours, albeit shady and not fully stocked. There had to be something they would eat too and Catcher judged everything, considering grabbing whatever he laid eyes on which would be crazy; it was a coin toss. He didn’t want beer or cans that were hasslesome and ineffective liquor but everything was a snack; it hit him how weird it was that he didn’t have a couch eating habit. Snatching a bag of gummy bears, it was a no brainer how much she liked them and he decided he was going to infuse them then give them to her to chill on; the thought made him smile to himself with silly cunning.

Something inside him always ended up debating skittles and it was embarrassing but he didn’t really like anything else. Then he saw a Twinkie and was 'shook'; it was a lifetime ago when he had eaten them as a kid, a small venture in his restricted childhood. His mother forebode soda and fast food on top of the fact they had help to cook at home so he never really tried anything or developed an addiction; it probably was the root cause to his serious inability to choose common guilty pleasures. These thoughts annoyed him and he just grabbed them and what was next it, chocolate dipped chips, the skittles, damned kinder eggs amongst other random things in retaliation. If they didn’t eat it all he was just going to hand it over to Seth; his back up stomach. His trips to the grocery store were not this much of a time consuming torment. When he said they needed something it wasn’t supposed to be everything but here he was.

Standing in front of a fridge, he pondered the idea that everything was sugary and once you ate something candied then drank something different it just became sour and all sorts of wrong. This was a strange night to begin with, but his brain was actually suggested something that worked, something he did enjoy as an aperitif; it was port. Mostly used as dessert wine it would work with every snack even a bag of iced donuts or Doritos; not to mention any chocolate bars. Pointing to it and the pint of Ciroc, he made small talk to the man as he unlocked a cabinet for the alcohol; he was a friend of his neighbor and he had come in a few times, enough he had even picked up smokes for Cloud and learnt to roll a black licorice cigarette that spoiled all others.

He just stuffed money into the tip jar once a total was calculated, since the owner was the person working it made no difference. Scooping everything into another bag, he almost put them all together; he probably would have if Natasha hadn’t been there. This was about as much of a full shopping experience as he needed in daily life and he ripped the bag of bears and gave it to her while opening the vodka, squishing most of the bears in. They turned into little shiny jewels in the clear liquor and he handed that to her too, shaking them so they floated around like cute, colourful bubbles to enthrall her. Ciroc was made from grapes so this was going to be better than what she thought vodka would make it taste. Generally it was always hard to concentrate with her in his presence but he never did anything without care.
”We just need to go into the woods.”
Trudging away, he led her out and into the darkness, their eyes adjusting with their enhanced abilities, scents of nocturnal creatures filling the air. Branches and twigs snapped beneath them and he had to mull over the sense of direction so they wouldn’t get lost while the blend of fur, skin, nature distracted him; it was never easy around the zoo and he almost wished he had a blunt to blur things. The banana pills made by Claude created zooming sensations more than anything, it was like smelling rings in a kaleidoscope but he felt lighter and it was helping sever his pain responses. Anguish and despair that had existed an hour ago deformed into enthusiasm and faith.

Stopping, Catcher tied the bags and went over to the fence beside the gate where the back road was and threw them over; plastic bag in the wind going onto the other side, now they absolutely had to get in. He went over to the metal pole that was a beam cemented into the dirt. Rust and spots from rain freckled the grey material and he unscrewed a loose bolt on the dusty gate post latch to sink it off centre. Leaning his weight against the section, he pushed it unevenly and lifted the chain link a little so it moved in a jig and creaked open. They were forcing it the wrong way so the gap was only wide enough for them and nothing bigger before it jammed back against the sloped ground heavily. Slinking through it, keeping the nut to the bolt in his pocket and reaching a hand out to help, his eyes dilated with the thrill, gleaming in the moonlight back at her.

Some street lights in the zoo were still on and they would remain throughout the night. He knew there were workers who were on their shift and they still had to be cautious but it was late enough they were mostly indoors cleaning for tomorrow. It was minimal manning but like security guards, he was confident they would just sit and watch Youtube videos, eating or really sleeping. ”You know what you need to see? Blue-footed boobies.” This was their inside joke and it broke his crafty smile into a satisfied chuckle; he had lost most of the memory but it was something they had and that was everything. He couldn't come to terms with the fact that he didn't remember all of it since whatever she said and did was like the back of his hand. Seeing the awkward birds would likely trigger what had faded in his mind and he needed all that time back, all of the conversations and laughter; it would bring them back together with unselfish reason.

[Natasha Black]

The effects of the gummies were beginning to kick in, it had been a short while since she had consumed them. It didn't help that she took a big enough dose of four people. She knew what she was doing, relying on her genes she knew she could handle that much. She was feeling it enough that she was feeling a bit lighter all around now in mind and spirit. Making her feel like time was slightly delayed and that's what she craved. She takes every delayed second she had with Catch.

"You know, if we don't find a rabbit tonight, then maybe we have to make time to find one somewhere else in the future." She ran her finger across the edge of the counter feeling the cold smooth texture below it. She wanted to find a way for him to come back and see her. If he couldn't then she would have to do it herself. He had driven out to her,putting the shards of her heart back into place. She would do anything to have him in her life. She didn't know if the THC slowly leaking of the gummies was allowing her to think more freely. She has to allow him past the shield she put up to block out pain. It wasn't doing a good enough job anyway. Her armor was full of holes being corroded with every smile, and touched they had shared. It was paper thin now the smallest gust of wind could blow it away for ever.

She watched as he passed the man behind the counter more than enough to pay for their purchase, and flowed him out the door. Hearing him mention getting something for them too, made her happy she hadn't eaten anything for dinner. She was too focused on finishing her work to even care about food earlier. "A snack would be a life saver". She hadn't phased for a while,she had noticed when over long periods of time of not letting out her inner beast she wouldn't feel as hungry. Someday she hardly eats at all. She knew she lost a little weight because of it. She was more preoccupied with the recent changes and food sometimes was the last thing that crossed her mind.

She waited for him outside the store leaning against the icebox and looking up at the stars remembering the night at the beach she had made a wish, it seemed like forever ago now but she muse in the memory. That night she wished for the stars to realign so she could find happiness. She didn't know what made herself kiss him in the water that night. It might have been a way for her to plant happy thoughts in his head knowing how what he wanted with Veronica would probably never happen. They both need hope for a future, a dream to catch one she wanted to be a part of.

Looking over her shoulder she could see him walking out of the gas station and she straightened up, as Catcher came out to see her. He handed the pack of gummy bears after he ripped the bag open. She popped a few in her mouth as she watched him combine them with liquor. It amused her slightly as it reminded her of Seth floating around Cullen's pool the morning after what V called a legendary night. That seemed like a lifetime ago now. Even going though almost being buried alive by her and Seth then finding out about Candi,he was still trying to comfort her. How many times did she miss him trying to make a bond with her before, she was so obsessed with trying to put her own piece back together that she didn't notice. His performance at prom? Sure it was more direct to Seth but there was a few moments that they had. She remembered looking into his dark eyes knowing there was such a profound deepness to him she never thought she would be able to reach. She tucked the mixture of bears and vodka and tucked in her shirt. She zipped up her jacket to secure it into place. It would be safe there and she wouldn't forget about it later.

She followed him through the darkness, she could still tread lighting almost wishing he would trip and like superman would catch her. She wasn't as agile as a wolf, and as sturdy as a statue as she moved gracefully behind him. She watched as Catcher tossed the bags over the fence and fiddled with a bolt to open the gate large enough for him to fit though. Taking his outstretched hand she slithered through the gap, it snapped back behind her with little effort. "Blue footed boobies?" A smile stretched widely across her face. Back in the day they laughed and carried on laughing that someone would name a bird boobie, yes it was childish but it brought back some late night group with Jacob and the guys. Years had passed since then.

"How do you remember that? I had almost forgotten that myself. Did I really mean too much to you back then that you remember something so silly?" She moved closer to him, taking his hand in hers. "I'm sorry if I never noticed back then." She let go of hand, turning around and picking up the bags off the ground. They had till dawn to explore this place, she visited whatever creature he wanted to see, even the bats if that was what he was into. "We can look at the boobies as you want. But tonight you're going to see a Koala and I'm going to take your picture." With her free hand she unzipped her jacket, grabbed out the liquor, unscrewed the top with her teeth and she poured a bit into her mouth. A bit dripped back out not being able to fully close her lips.It actually tasted pretty good. She held the bottle out to Catcher, waving it for him to take. Hooking the cap on her pinky she held it in her hand "Do you remember the first time we met?"

[Catcher Reeves]

The petting zoo on site had rabbits so he tried to figure out why she thought they would need another time to find one. He had an inkling but dared not mention it and just dropped that random plan for now. There was a side of him she didn’t know, cajoling him to manipulate things, seducing her for gains if she would only lose control; he would turn her mind into his so he didn’t have to let go. No matter where he was, she would find him in everything, he would always be in her head.

But come Monday he would be absent. It was part of why he even ended up here with her tonight, prone to the whirlwind drama that would point the next step to securing her. She would never realize any of this deviousness if he could help it; they would have made the most of the weekend but those ulterior motives were just his pride and greed coaxing him and he was trying to reject it all based on how she had made him feel when they embraced. It wasn’t fair to build something up then tear it down but he ironically had been willing to let her bring him to this point and leave him here when he finally chose her. It was flaying his skin to the bone as he lived and breathed. He might have been falling in love with her, confused with the idea of her; persistent to having her and significantly objectifying her while trying to stop rotting in his own hell over it.

Dredging up the future, telling her when there was nothing she would do about it was like trying to change the rain. She wanted safety around her, people who would always be there and never break her. If she was staying in fear of his approaches, he wasn’t going to get far and he had to forge a different path, one that was for his destiny but try to include hers. The more understanding he grew, the more their relationship became preservation. He was less in pursuit, a weaker force than hope in trying to mend. Everywhere he’d go, he would always be looking for the sun with nowhere to grow old. He was the dark side of the moon while she was the bright light; she was permanent with somewhere to call home. At the turning point of life, she was not someone he should brand by being with him, an outlaw of love. How he always thought he was doing the right thing for people, sacrificing something, he was correct this time; even if there were distractions, he shouldn’t have a hand in it. Every fiber of his being battling this emotional override, his pulse a heavy bass note drumming to the internal rush that was the craving to make her his in every way.

”I’d like to remember. I wish I knew where it all went. But in the end it doesn’t matter…”It was just 'boobies'. That was the truth, he didn’t know why the full memory was gone when it involved so many people but now that she asked, he began to think he wiped it because he lost the pack. Letting her take his hand as she apologised for his personal failure to show her his feelings clearly when they were younger, he attempted to brush her off unable to accept it, sternly staring at her as if telepathically she’d rescind.”Don’t say that.” They were just kids then, not knowing how and not knowing when to do things. Maybe she did but he was never able to be so perfect and he averted his eyes. ”Just know, I respected what you had and it was more important.”
What he owed Quil for being the first person to take him under his angry wing, he couldn’t make up for. All he did was avoid Natasha and carry on with what he was supposed to do, go to school, pick up more responsibilities and it led him directly to Veronica, who he thought he’d love and be loved in return until his dying day.

Catcher faced Natasha briefly as he took one of the bags from her hand before looking around as they walked towards the end of the first path. He let her question simmer and determined it was better to manage something; it was rare she perceived that she meant something to him and all he ever did was let her misunderstand in silence. Sighing, he stopped and looked from the ground to her face then beyond her in discomfort. ”Even if you meant more to me than I ever showed you, you were the most popular girl in school, and with the first brother I ever had.” It sounded bleak and whiny, frustrating because it had been.
Catcher took a gummy bear from the few left in the small bag, finding a distracting outlet to begin curiously picking at her brain, ultimately grinning while chewing and blinking innocently.He had his own share of things to deal with so he couldn't bother her too much. She probably never noticed his reputation; the many mixed signals flying around left him walking on eggshells and wasted his time. ”And, don’t tell me you forgot all the guys after you. Your poor ‘friends’… who were they again?” They were nobody or he’d be shocked there was somebody with a name to her, pitiful admirers just like the funny one at her dorm. He was probably not much better than them but he reveled in her indulgence to choose him tonight.

A cartoonish sign indicated left for herbivores and right for carnivores, but he was aware they looped round to connect at the end. The sound of cawing above them as a crow perched on a lamp influenced him to choose the right; there were these cubes of meat that they should really use up first and he almost wanted to see what would happen if he dropped one on the ground for the corvid. They reached a deep canyon where their edge met a vast river and on the other side there was a perch over a cave.

Catcher walked along the paved edge, looking into the safari for something to stir but there was nothing yet so he tore up the seal of the meat bag and let his nose be hit with the whiff of raw flesh, setting it down on the ground beside his feet, leaning against the boundary railing. He held a small piece in between his forefinger and thumb simply. Ethereal were the senses of hunger in the black bird, the muscle enticing it with opportunity until it came like a shadow of omens to steal it only to lose it to another that collided in midair. There was something phenomenal about that speed, the flight and the barbarous instincts and his eyes reflected something beautifully nefarious; he was as pleased as the devil settling a trade, watching them fade into the darkness.

The first time they met was awkward and he took the bottle she held out, drinking from it.”We were wolves…” The tone was factual, thoughtful as he needed some time to piece together the best way to answer her. It took a minute to debate if he should mention Quil but the first time they met was the first time he explored the forest and saw a spectral wolf down by the river. She was white as April snow in the spring and he had watched her, frozen from behind, mesmerised. It was almost symbolic she was the only white wolf he had ever seen and in the wild, she was something out of a myth; a trophy by birth. The man beside her who turned to give him spare clothes instantly knew what he was and she had phased back and dressed after he did.
”You growled at me… then you glared at me.” He was thinking hard and the imagery began to play like an old tape, flickering and vintage; before he continued he made sure to make her feel bad, really just playing with her, uncertain what she might remember. ”Really just… so into me.” Teasing her sarcastically, emphasising the words, it would be impossible that she had different thoughts to the obvious hostility at that time; she had presented herself fiercely and didn’t trust him, probably would have tried to kill him.

When he realised how differently they had seen each other even from the first moment, he laughed. While he had noticed she was stunning, she had thought he was the enemy who might hurt her and wanted to defend her beau. ”You only smiled at me, shook my hand… after he said you were his girlfriend. I was just glad I was right.” He had been thinking that all along from her behaviour within seconds of them running into each other, she was so obsessed with the good guy and he had accepted Quil’s invitation to be friends while a crush on her formed.

Shaking his head mildly, he was just looking at her questioningly and partially hiding his amusement, letting it slip through with a suppressed smirk. He did want her to realize how she had never noticed anyone else because of one man but didn’t need her to get all upset; it was a fine line to talk about the past that they had since it was riddled with Quil’s existence.
”How I stopped thinking about you so no one would hear anything was something…” Musing in wonder with that confession, he looked up to the stars glimmering between the canopies of ancient trees that shrouded the zoo in a nature reserve.
”What do you remember?” She definitely had a sounder mind throughout the years and would have memorised more. Giving her some time, curious but also accommodating that if none of her memories surfacing included him, it was still worth sharing. There wasn’t much of anything to expect and he skipped a few paces ahead, walking backwards examining her before darting to the fork in the road, holding just the sack of meat out for her. The expense of energy felt surreal, a dose of insanity that was as close as he could get to rhapsody on his own.

Wolves howled from a pen nearby and he could smell them, strangely saddening yet solidary; the sound of pacing jaguars repetitive and agitating the opposing predators. ”There’s a little mountain lion here just like Cloud you can feed… ”
Since they were walking through and the compound was a circular walk way that branched into smaller sections of categorized animals from mammals to marine life, he figured it would all work out without much thought. They’d get to the koalas without a problem but first he was tossing all these meat chunks at baby Cloud and Feather then they could run anywhere.

[Natasha Black]

His words were sincere, it didn't matter how much he remembered in the past. She too tried to pack away the memories that brought her pain into a place of her mind and tucked it away. There were so many she wanted to forget but there were ones she wished she could throw in a match and watch them burn away into nothing forever. Hearing him say that he valued what she had she smiled slightly. Back then her life would have become something different, now she lived in an alternate reality. If life had been fair she probably would have been getting married and talking about children. Life is always changing and now after everything she knew it was probably in a better place than being a servant to fate.

She had Catcher now and what they have now is what she valued,even if it was built on the rubble of their broken hearts and messy endings. The foundation was strong and would weather a storm that tried to destroy it. That had been proven by how easy things seemed to be repaired just by a hug between them, she just hoped she would never cause an earthquake, something so damaging that it would just add more stones to the pile and never be able to be put back into place.

Catcher looked past her trying to find a response to the question and she listened with an open mind, she knew it was Veronica and he who had something back then. "Was I popular? I never noticed, I just always tried to be kind to everyone, a bit naive if I say so myself. I've kind of turned into a bitch though. I need to so I can protect myself." She looked away she saw glimpses of who she used to be now she was not as open to people as she was before. She just seemed to push more people away instead of letting them see the damage living through pain so long did to her. " The guys after me? Who?" She laughed a little trying to really remember her earlier days at high school in La Push. " I guess there might have been a few but..no one ment as much as.." She wouldn't mention his name. His name wasn't worth enough for her to let pass her lips tonight. This evening was theirs to enjoy not one to be tarnished with her past mistakes.

They stop at a sign that indicates a cross road for them to take, they could either go to see the carnivores or the herbivores, she didn't care in which direction they went, all she wanted was time with him, where making memories and building bonds were all that mattered. She watched as he pulled out a piece of raw meat and threw it to a swacking blackbird. She never told him but she didn't like birds much, especially the ones that ate roadkill and rotting flesh of dead animals. She found them to be disgusting creatures. She couldn't even stand parrots, birds were beautiful and terrifying. She just stood back with her arms folded across her chest protectively. Boobies were the only birds she really liked. Smelling the bag of meat herself she beat to think maybe the Carnivores could too. So it makes the most sense to see them first.

She started down the path, walking as slow as possible listening to Catcher speak. She wanted to see if he had remembered, some of it was a bit blurry on her end. Studying his face she listened as Catcher began talking about the first interaction they had together. She wished they could have met at another time because their paths crossed with Quil involved. She tried to push every memory she had with him out of her head, all the time she wasted on Quil she would never get back. He had taken the most venerable part of her, her heart. He ripped out and replaced it with a stone one that sat so heavy in her chest weighing her down spirit. It had taken Catcher for her to realize the stone in her chest could be polished and become beautiful again. Mentioning that she had growled at him made her shrug "Nothing wrong with being protective. I just should have more protective of myself instead of a stupid asshole who got himself grouned over corn." Her eyes fell to the ground, she had laid her loyalty in the wrong place in the past but she wasn't going to do that ever again.

"I bet you thought I was into some fluffy ball of madness ready to pounce. I was so moody back then. I guess in a way I still am." She was glad the gummies seemed to be peaking at the moment,talking about the past at the last moment made it feel more like a faded dream instead of pain from the past. "He's nothing but a memory now with time they fade. You mean more to me now that he might have ever had." He might have thought it might have been a lie but all Catcher had done so much for her since he stepped back into her life he helped her find herself again.

A small confession escaped his lips and she bit hers never hearing him admit such a thing. He had all those girls who were interested in him. To learn she had held her own piece in his mind made her feel treasured. She watched as he looked up at the stars, she silently thanked the universe for bringing them together in this moment. If something she had learned from Feather it was always good to send the positive out to the universe. "Who did you think about instead,Seth's mom ?" She laughed making a joke of the situation not knowing what he actually did to shield his mind. Whatever he did he hid his thoughts well.

Collecting her own thoughts about her memories, she tried to put the little memories of Catcher she had together, the most time she had spent with him was in class but she had one she knew he remembered also. "When we were at the shop, you mentioned how I still sounded good. You probably thought I forgot about you sitting down with me in the music room as I practicing for the talent show. Up till the day you're the only friend who knew I played." She had hid her talent until the day of the show,not even letting anyone know she could sing. He might have not been there for the actual thing but he did l help her gain the confidence to perform. "We might haven't had the closest friendship but I do cherish what we had back then.It will never hold as much of a memory as Seth's prom though. You stole the show that night." She laughed between him singing and being covered in glitter she had never seen him more confident. She liked that part of him when he opened up and wanted to have fun. He captivated her that evening as much as he did tonight.

The appeal of seeing a little mountain lion made her smile, she didn't know why Catcher thought it was just like Cloud. His friend was always fueled by some sort of upper or downer, was this little lion in a state of stupor. " Well let's hope it's more like Feather, I might get more of a response out of it." Cloud and Tash had not spoken since she left. She imagined it was because Catcher probably told him what had happened. She creeps his socials from time to time when texting with Feather. " How is he anyway? I really made a mess of things back home." She lifted her nose letting it try to decipher between the smells of the zoo. There were too many cats to pick out just one. So she kept moving down the path letting Catcher guide the way "I'm sorry for leaving how I did, you didn't deserve me leaving you like I did." She stopped, letting a few tears fill her eyes. She was always so emotional around him. It made her feel weak. "You know if things were different," she whipped the tears away. "If I wasn't damaged then I'd probably be able to give you more of me. You don't need a broken girl holding you back."

[Catcher Reeves]

”That makes Seth Stacy...” Chuckling, he couldn’t unsee the image of Seth in drag and his brain smashed it together in a horrible music video for the punk song. Wherever Seth’s mom was, she probably did have it going on. The thought turned his chuckle into a fit before he bit his lip quickly to stop laughter. This was funnier than her talking about corn and the asshole that was none other than Quil but he wished there was more to that tale.
”I was thinking about Mrs. Robinson. That definitely abused everyone’s minds.” He had just thought about his surroundings when phased and then the guys were so hectic, there was an endless supply of things to keep on loop in his head so she never seeped through; then Veronica showed up and he was in more trouble mastering the telepathy.
As Seth had frequently mentioned, talking about girls set off a chain reaction but when it came to Natasha, they were not above receiving a smack down from Quil so everyone was on eggshells. It was unfair in the vague memory of a human boy she hung out with whom Quil never laid the hammer down to. It was impossible in this lifetime to mean more than that man ever had to her and he concealed his share of doubts and disbeliefs in her statement but took it as a reward, shying away from her boldness. If he were to tell her what she meant right then, would they have closed the scene with a grand finale, the ever after; he grew afraid that if that failed, that was the conclusion. Instead he read her body language as the birds flew away and he realised she didn't like them.

She had heard him in the shop despite his best efforts. ”You remembered that it was me... You do still sound good and you could have more fun with it. The band writes some songs and you could lend them a hand. You’re probably the new muse they need.” Now he too was musing to all the contribution she could make in Cloud’s never ending thirst for inspiration but she revised Prom night for him and he felt his pulse rise as his cheeks flushed, diverted. Dancing was a very ingrained fear of his but sometimes he could get over it for the sake of the challenge or a requirement; he was an ambivert and it flip flopped like an optical thaumatrope to create the illusion he was completely confident. That night he had done what he could to make the most of their revelry and he was genuinely elated; more than he had been most of his life which made all that flair possible.
”I live to serve.” If he had the ability to make things better, he would use it until it left his being. As she laughed, he grinned and partook softly, unaware she regarded him so highly that night; he didn’t make a fool of himself for just anybody, this he had reassured himself back then too. ”If I could have made it perfect, I would have but you did… and I’m thankful you all went.” That avenue of wonder, where she had been his date for the first and last prom he would ever go to, he had been so proud and so pleased to get her out of her rut, even for a few hours. If it hadn’t been for that night, he would most likely never have seen her again, found any of them.
”I’m pretty sure Seth, then Xion stole the show.” It had really been her, which was why he stole the crown but he wasn’t going to remind her and that picture of her and Seth was sitting in his drawer. ”But I’m glad you won’t forget it. Not what happened later either… I shouldn’t have tried to leave without you.” He’d do it all again to change that ending. Not wound up with drunk Veronica in her car then spiraled everyone into doom. If he could see himself he wouldn’t have leaked annoyance about Quil and left her for something that wasn’t meant to be only because she allowed him. Did that cause her to think if she gave him freedom, he would stray?

The cub was laying upside down in the confinement close to the edge; it wasn’t doing anything but its eyes flickered up to them as it lay as still as the water around it. The nose wrinkling slightly with its whiskers moving from the scent of the meat they had. There was another, walking slowly out of the den but it sat down a little way behind this one and just watched them, unable to be coaxed easily. Perhaps it just didn’t bank on him feeding and Natasha would have more luck; someone able to be so gentle yet so firm. He had carelessly referred to the laying one as baby Cloud but it was beginning to look like he was watching his friend as he thought back to all the times he had to wake the drug lord up and he was just lazing in the same manner.

”You didn’t make a mess of anything. I did.” It was a curt a response, he didn’t want her to go down that road. He was the one who phased and hadn’t told Candela about not being human; she almost passed out and spent a good amount of time in shock. The entire misunderstanding was only clear to him and somehow he didn’t believe Natasha would fully buy the truth. Although she suddenly asked about Cloud, he was still hung up on the subject about what transpired when she left; that day was just a cluster fuck and he did want to talk about it to clear the air but was unsure how to approach it delicately. Now that they came this far, he was trying to be a little more careful not to ruin a single thing no matter what was in store for them.

”Whatever you’re thinking, forget about it, Cloud hasn’t changed... He’s been meaning to take you up on those tasting experiments and go to some parties but you should just ask Feather. He’ll come when she does… He thinks it’s a bit weird to show up by himself…” As he spoke, the tone eased and the anxiety of how serious he felt about rectifying the wrong from a few weeks ago cloaked itself. Cloud liked to consider her his sister’s best friend and also had a hard time figuring out what was going on with their relationship but just in case it was expressed wrongly, Catcher didn’t explain on his behalf. Instead he just gave her the most relevant reason Cloud mentioned to him; he was older and had no connections with anyone at her school and he wouldn’t go without him unless Feather made him. Seeing Natasha was fine, however it seemed Cloud was spending more time with Veronica because she kept hounding him about being her wing woman. ”It’s just him being out of college and over it…”

Then she brought them full circle and he was forced to tackle it. Swallowing the remnants of the gummy bear, he looked at her with an increasingly dolefulness in his eyes, glancing back and forth from her to elsewhere with uncertainty. It was parallel to his mind moving, feeling the earliest stages of distress. He wanted to tell her to stop apologizing but every time he had done that, he counted it and she was outnumbering him with regrets. It was getting clearer that he was still thinking about the things she does and he wanted to take control, know exactly what to do. ”I made you leave… “ Indirectly, he caused her horror. He wasn’t with somebody new but Candela was currently his responsibility; he was torn with how it appeared but all the indecisions about what she wanted him to be led him to find solace in this woman who had become someone important, his indirect emotional support. Out of kindness and mutual understanding, they had each other; Candela had him and he had her to back one another up in their individual burdens and it wasn’t something easy to present to Natasha. Even Veronica and the others didn't understand it, insinuating he was settling or there was some romance that didn't exist. ”You left because you felt like you had to… and I couldn’t stop you in time.” It wasn’t a good look that he was feeling so emotional and he was stiffening to gain self-control.

Under the moonlight, little liquid crystals formed in her eyes and as she wiped them from her face, he watched with guilt and sorrow. He couldn’t hide the fact that he had no words to convince her she was wrong about everything. No matter what he had done, she never seemed to believe in what could be best for them and now she showed him, she knew why; she didn’t feel that she deserved what they could have. If it wasn’t for that wall, slowly crumbling before him, he would have freely touched her face in the instant the tears threatened to fall. She was all he needed, even if she didn’t have the truest love for him and while they remained rooted it looked like they existed on different planes. A rift opening between them while they tried to stitch it back together, a dance between strangers.

”Nothing happened with Candi.” It was a promise but he had no proof and how the two women hated each other, taught him that whatever more he said only served to catapult the detestation.
He could see himself backing away from her as she cried, as she needed him the most. In an alternate reality that was what he could’ve done but his body reacted in this dimension and he moved to pull her to him. Holding her, they connected as he held her so she couldn’t do anything but have him. There was nothing in the distance once he felt her against him, everything he could see was gone and they were standing alone in the dark cosmos, he didn’t stand a chance and all he could think of was how good at goodbyes he was, that it was probably all he could do. ”Will you never believe I can change anything…” She was light and delicate from the inside out and he didn’t want to see her cry, it made him equally weak but how he saw himself with her fell apart with her words. She would never know he had bottled himself enough over the years he could sob into her shoulder as if he was new to this. At least she would never feel it or see it and he repressed it all, breathing her in as he pressed his lips to her head, eyes tightly shut as his face buried in her hair. Finding comfort for himself that when she would one day unfold him and tell him she loved him, it would save him from the ruin. She was protecting her innocence, but every time she walked out of their beautiful prospects the less he knew how to be there for her and he felt like fire on fire, urgently extinguishing himself. ”What if where I’m going isn’t all it could be without you?”

That was the infinite question he had for her. Fear in now and fear for the future kept them in stasis. There were no rules to abide, and still she remained where she wanted to be. She was his only direction but hers reached further and he lost a part of the hope he had to steer her off course. Though he didn’t want to be alone tonight, he hid the fact that he didn’t know what he was doing and that all he wanted her to see was all she made him do, be in shambles. He wasn’t even going out tonight, just wanting to get her off his mind but then it was impossible not to succumb and now he wasn't dancing with a stranger; these nights never seemed to go to plan.
What he saw of his future was more broken than what she kept insisting, he was traveling down one road and would never fully enjoy it; if it went on, it was just a matter of how much time he had left. In the meantime where he was going was anywhere he wanted and he wanted her to know that. He just wanted somebody to die for.

Abruptly, Catcher resolved with the thought to get a grip and released her, inhaling smoothly the strength he found to contest her. Someday her damages would be fixed and it bit at him that now it was definitely something only someone else could repair and then she would have slipped through his fingers. Half-heartedly, he wanted to ignore that and resorted to what he usually lived by when he desperately reaffirmed any happiness he found. ”We’re having a good time today, don’t think about tomorrow.”
He was no longer smiling but he dug in her bag of snacks and broke open a plastic encasing to hand her a Pez dispenser. Blinking with a mindless idea as he avoided her gaze, he clicked the mouth of it open so it held out the candy then he closed it, repeating it a few times like a nervous tick as though it was a puppet that amused them. The head was a Dory and her eyes were drawn permanently googly, enough he pouted looking from it to her before smiling meekly. ”You should just be forgetful. I'm going to forget what you said so we can start again.” If that was all they had to worry about, whether they would lose their memory in amnesia, they would both finally be happy.

”If we get to the aquarium, you could even speak whale…” Resting on the railing facing the cubs, he had moved away from her and now he turned his head to glance back, gently smirking; he was always changing his tune to hold her hand. Then he looked down, in a flood of nostalgia, all of the stolen glances until it stopped at a particular one. Seeing her from his position, was a ghostly moment of a time long past, when he had felt they shared something secret in a classroom. She had the most demure look in her eye as theirs met but also the faintest coy smile she tried to hide and he could never forget it; it made it hard for him to breathe, imprinted in his mind ever since. She was a sweetheart and it was the first time a girl had made him feel a kind of way without saying a word. Then he feared love all over again. But, what had he honestly known about love, it was heart-rending he couldn't convey that idolising view of her.

Catcher exhaled and stooped down to grab another piece of meat and threw it hard, like a rock you would skip across a lake. It landed on the belly of the cub who was still laying without a care in the world and it squirmed so the chunk flopped, smelling it before eating; a relieving sign of progress though he was a bit shocked not meaning to do that. He picked up the bag by both handles and rolled it wide open, holding it out to Natasha so she might try to feed her baby Feather. For a moment there was nothing more powerful than pure animals to heal two shattered souls who couldn’t bend fate and he made up his mind that he would let her take the pictures of koalas after this.

[Natasha Black]

Between collecting her own thoughts and trying to make sense of them,her brain was trying to put all the tiny pieces together weaving them into some sort of tapestry she had to continue to evaluate. They had both played a part in each other's life that no matter how you tried to understand it there would be people pulling at threads trying to unravel the secrets they both held dear. She heard him laugh, thinking about Stacy, which they should start calling Seth in drag.she didn't see why he stopped himself, laughter would have been a good way to keep the mood up Tonight wouldn't all be sunshine and rainbows it was a evening in which she hope they could short thought the most broken pieces of whatever they had together and cement them back together. She didn't want to tumble farther down the Cliffs of despair then she had ever before. Tash was climbing out of the pit even if it broke every part of her she laid it all out for him to see. "You have it lucky now, you don't have anyone to hide your mind from."

She was amused with the offer to maybe help the band out sometime. It was never a thought that crossed her mind before. They probably didn't want someone like her to help write songs; they would all be about tragical romances or something. There was enough music like that in the world, they didn't need her adding to the pile. "I'll talk to them sometime, I'm not signing myself up to be the sad girl with the deep soul." She was deep it would be hard for many to be swallowed up by her eyes like vast oceans. She never really let anyone see below the service. That way they couldn't take a piece of her she desperately wanted to hide. She was allowing Catcher past her barrier but she was still being cautious not wanting to drown in her feelings.

She had mentioned prom to bring up a fond memory she would always have of him. He lifted her out of her hole for a while that evening making her feel more human, less like a wither rose. He was right though Seth and Xion may have had the crown but for a moment when he was standing in front of her singing a bit of the pain that was weighing heavily on her chest subsided.She didn't want him to feel any regret about what happened at that evening, that night she was too stuck in her own misery to even care what her did afterwards. She dragged her feet along the pathway. There was clearly something he had to resolve with Veronica that night. Some of it had been fixed as the next morning at Cullen's house she had been more receptive to him. The antics in the pool didn't go unnoticed by her even if I looked like she was in her own world. She was always paying attention.

"You shouldn't worry about what happened after, I wasn't the one you needed that night." She pulled the gummy bear mixture back out of her jacket, she tipped the bottle in her mouth and a few bears fell in. Her body heat must have helped them start absorbing the liquid because they had a stronger flavor than before. Have to remember to do this for Daniella to try. She would enjoy this treat, she wasn't a big fan of the cannabis ones. These taste better and you have to consume much more to feel anything.

They had finally made it to the mountain lions, they smelt very similar to the faint scent she often picked up off of Cloud and Feather. They were tiny compared to what the twins looked like in their feline form. They were amazing little creatures, moving her body to lean in front of the gate. She knew that mountain lions usually like to attack from behind so this may entice them to get closer. He said the messy ending was his fault. She knew they both had a part to play, and would let him accept his. She peered back at the little cougars but they seemed to not move much yet. It was surprising she thought that cats hunted more at night; it seemed they were just not interested. They probably smelt different then the human keepers, it would explain things. "I'll just have to invite Feather out in a few weeks, we're starting mixing new strains next week. The combination might be fun for him to try."

She knew her words would be hard for him to hear but he had to get them out, night was either going to make or break the path she had to choose to travel. If it was going to be painful then ripping it off like a bandaid was the way to do it. She listens to him speak and his body language changes, each word being etched into her mind to make sense of It all. In the physical she had to go it was time for her to leave for school. Emotionally she was ready to leave a part back with him, she had stopped in to talk to him,she needed him to say something so she would know he felt the same, he didn't get the chance Candi answering the door hearing her speak drove a dagger into her heart. If it was only Catch who answered she wouldn't have reacted the way she did. She wouldn't have bursted into his house like a whirlwind to grab her things and run out. She couldn't have stayed if she hadn't been so angry. Last thing Catcher needed was to pick Candi up off the floor in pieces. She had to run before she let the white wolf explode out of her. She couldn't control herself, once again she felt rejected by someone who she was willing to give a piece of her heart to. Why she had been so naive, he didn't feel the same.

Hearing him mention Candela's name and saying nothing happened with her made the wound in her heart feel a little less painful.She felt his arms wrap around her pulling her close. Here she felt safe, if she could stay here forever she would. she would give him a piece of her soul to hold forever if it would make him always come back to her. She struggled with her thoughts; her mind told her one thing while her heart told her another. " You have changed me but I can't fall apart again, this time I may never come back." She could feel his lips against her head and she wanted to be the one he truly wanted.She would be his for eternity if only she could let him past all of her barriers. She thought for a moment as he asked if
her if where he is going isn’t all it could be without her.

Could she really mean so much to him he'd want her around? She really didn't know how to answer. She usually just shut down completely or made up some reason in her head that made sense to her. She didn't want to give up what they have but she had her fears, like demons in the night they pulled her down into a dark pit where light hardly reached. Right now he was the light seeping into her darkness that pushed them all away. If she lost him she would never dig herself out of the dark again.

She could feel him letting go of her, she wished could just blurt what she wanted to tell him right then and there end the questions that probably filled his mind. He was right though today, they were having a good time but tomorrow was slowly creeping up on them. At that second she was just living in the moment tonight was not supposed to be sad, she had been letting her emotions get the best of her lately. She shouldn't cry anymore. Wiping away the few tears that remained,she watched him dig into the bag and pull out a pez, she watched him pop a few candies out and she accepted them. She was glad they were the raspberry kind they were her favorite. She smiled as he seemed to be having more fun with the candy dispenser then a toddler would. "Okay I'll forget like Dory as long as I can be Nemo. You can speak like a whale and I'll just listen and learn." It made her smile. She often said she had a memory like a goldfish. It made her wonder if he picked out something special to make her smile.

She watched as he took a piece of meat out of the bag and lobbed it over the fencing. How he managed to get the piece of meat to hit the mountain lion gently on the belly was beyond her but it was amusing to see the cougar sturr to eat the meat. Picking up a piece of meat from the bag she squatted down in front of the fence and made some noises trying to lure the other one over. She waited patiently trying no to move much and the little feline started moving closer. Eventually she took the piece of meat right out of her hand. She could feel the coarse tongue brush against her palm . She just looked over at Catcher, a surprised little creature actually came up to see her. When it was done taking the meat it rubbed its cheek against her hand as it was thanking her for the little sack,it slowly turned away and headed back towards the den. She stood up slowly and snapped a few pictures, she didn't take too many , not wanting the zoo cameras to pick up anything suspicious.

Picking up a bag she was ready to move on whenever he was, her stomach growled at her wanting something more substantial than a few pieces of candy. She opened the bag of doritos. The nacho cheese smell filled her nose and it made her mouth water a bit. She popped a few chips into her mouth and they stained her fingers. It brought back a memory of Veronica mentioning that she, Embry and Catcher were going to prank her and turn her fur pink. They had never been able to go through with it and she was glad it never happened. She wiped the cheesy finger against her pant legs "You know what V told me, you were planning on dying me pink." Back then she would have hated it but years later she would have found it funny. "Thanks for not going through with it, I really hate pink, you know. Blue is a better colour choice, now let's go find those boobies." She begin running down the path knowing he would follow.

[Catcher Reeves]

There was something he missed in what she said about hiding thoughts. Stuck with old memories of her, he always believed she was beloved and propped up by everyone in the pack, in ways her thoughts were the most important. He never considered that she had to carry a weight on her shoulders about her true feelings and he studied her, revamping what he thought he knew. It told him that on a bright sunny day, she would still seem like sunshine while her whole world was crashing down. He didn’t need to hide his own thoughts now but he did it out of habit, never phasing if he could help it so he asked nothing of what obligations haunted her.

”Sad songs are exactly what people want. How many completely happy songs have you heard?” He raised his eyebrows in surprise that she considered herself sad. There was no happiness without sadness, they went hand in hand; he accepted that love and heartbreak were exactly the same but instead of having both he would be spending each night counting stars without her like a runaway. Just having one side forever, incomplete. She didn’t physically reflect it now that she was blonde and hanging out with people he didn’t know, a new person so he shrugged in a lax manner and dismissed his own suggestion about her making music. ”I was just saying… you don’t have to do anything. Probably shouldn’t anyway.” It was simpler not to have her around Cloud in case they got at each other’s throats and lyrics had a way of cutting them open; it wasn’t something he anticipated but he could visualize it since his friend enjoyed annoying her on purpose and gave very little care to the after effects.

”I…” I don’t. I’m not vulnerable. But the unspoken words rolled back down his throat. Veronica wasn’t someone he needed anymore. She would always have a special place but since her date with Rafael, where she had been was a hole he had finally been strong enough to dig. It was a travesty to let Natasha think that there was anything between Veronica and him anymore; not even a glimmer of hope remained between them. It was his choice not to be a creature of want over Veronica; he gave up and crawled out of that damnation. In the time he was caught spying on their date, he had forgotten Natasha didn’t hear about the whole bomb of events and he just concluded his thoughts, verbalizing something that filled no gaps for her. ”Maybe in another life…” Maybe in another life even Natasha could’ve taken the leap with him. The hour was late but all he kept hearing was that it was all going to end soon. Somewhere down their line he had lost a part of what was pure and he couldn’t make it back to where they were even if it took all night.

Watching her drink with the gummy bears toppling around, gradually disappearing, he decided he was just supposed to take her mind off how unhappy she was about the way her world had turned. Forgoing further intimacy, he was still supposed to always be on her side and it gnawed him on the inside. Catcher was coming to terms with all the assumptions he had regarding what she wanted and didn’t want, funneling them and filtering out what was inaccurate until there was one answer; a soreness dulling every sense. He wasn’t one to wait for things, he made things come together and he was a rocket at the speed of light when she had kissed him, heart racing with miles to go. It was then he had set out for her, now this was agony he wasn’t sure he could endure; every day would be holding ground. The day after the Prom he had paid special attention to her in spite of their hangover and realised she didn’t seem to notice him. All the little things were just like old times so he went on wanting to feel a chemical inside until she began giving him signals that he now thought he misunderstood; falling for it was a dance with the devil, in the end he was always meant to lose. This was them nearing the bitter end and he wanted to fly away chasing a white wind to be where they belonged. If he couldn’t see the sun, maybe he should go and this was one last day in her shadow. They were walking a winding road and he had no footsteps to follow except a pair that had broken her heart. He owed her a fairytale that he didn’t have the wings for.

”Whatever you make, he’ll smoke. The studying… I suspect it’s going well enough you have time to go out tonight?” They were older and love was no longer a game. He could feel the desire to pour into her life and the trepidation of discovering what he wasn’t ready for. It was like asking her to show him what it looked like from outside her window at twilight, and he had no method to express the intrigue swirling in dread, opening and closing his mouth to get somewhere. ”Did you find what you were looking for, new friends, parties…?” A new direction in which she was a riddle he couldn’t solve. Catcher was aware when he threw her the curveball question of where she should be in where he was heading, he had asked her knowing she didn’t have the answer. The last words signifying all of his wonders, something that should have made her realize the problem with them was created.
She claimed he had changed her, but she had changed him more. He could hardly contain himself from being a pusher, to not fight for it, spiraling because he didn’t mind putting his heart on the line again for her. He wasn’t ready to go alone and he thought she was in this thing together; all he could say to her was no one could tell where the road leads yet his safest bet was to disconnect. Could she see what she started, now that he was wounded and guarded?

”You think I speak whale… and I thought you did.” Rolling his eyes upwards he looked away from her briefly pausing to smile at the translation implying they were not on the same page about their relationship. Awaiting her as she fed the cub that came in good faith, he watched her pet it while it nuzzled her hand; the interaction humbling emotions that there was more to life than the deconstruction occurring within him. ”Nemo comes home though.” Taunting her, Catcher relished in the duality of meanings and denying her of what she wanted; home was where the heart was and he had come a long way with his own broken light, needing to know if she was still ‘alive’. Her feelings were tangled and impenetrable, he could almost see through her that they were not on equal standing; he was tipping the balancing scale with the weight of his heart and making her feel unsteady.

As she smiled, he knew the Pez and his awkward behaviour worked to stop her tearing and he figured he needed to relate to her, knowing more than society did in just her face. Grasping at straws, he did choose the dispenser specifically; it just meant something because she always said she forgot things and enjoyed animations. It was anything that made them stronger. Sealing the bag at the seams he folded it as her camera shot flashes, stepping away to give her the scope of scenery.

”She said I was planning? It was her idea…” He feigned the shock in the appalling betrayal from Veronica but let out a small laugh in disbelief, turning away and scratching his neck. ”I was the only one who thought it was a bit harsh. If I left it to Embry and V they would’ve made it permanent but honestly, I didn’t think we’d get past you. She told us to try at the sleepover but we didn’t even know you had planned one.” Adding, he recalled what actually happened was his boredom kicking off Embry’s visit to set all the plotting into motion; Veronica ended up tagging along while Embry ate a ton of food and the master herself conjured the prank, not him. ”Everyone thought you like pink because they said something about how you were always wearing that or something.” Concentrating on the details, he glimpsed her speed up her words only to take off running so that instinctively he wanted to chase her, and he did.

”Careful, I might dye you blue now!” Calling after her as he ran, it was a short sprint before he was stopped behind her, breathing for a moment before taking a nacho chip from around her and crunching on it. Her hunger and the cheese had made him peckish too and he rubbed his fingers together to let the little bit flavouring dust fall. ”You’ll be like the boobie.” While saying so he took out a vanilla twinkie and ate it in a big bite, savouring all the cream filling like he had never had it before, crushing the plastic wrapper into a clear ball to pick another one out when he was done. ”It sounds like you two talk about some random things… Do I even wanna know more?” In actuality, he was glad they were communicating, but he wasn’t trying to pry because both women were foggily pushing him away, recreating their lives; he was walking on air with them, never knowing which way they would blow him in the wind.

They walked a few more paces and an aviary was before them, they had run to the section where birds were but it was dark and most of them made no sound, contained in giant structures so they couldn’t fly away. Each enclosure had a double door to enter so that people could walk through briefly and see them beyond the netting, almost interact with them but never let them escape. The blue feet looked almost too bright for the surroundings, like neon in their searchlight; unmissable. The birds stood around comically on boulders in a fake aquatic environment while the fencing was so immense, once Catcher was in there, he didn’t think they were covered; it was more serene in the night and the netting blended enough it was nearly invisible, barely noticeable as though they were in the bird’s natural habitat. He closed the double doors behind them and made his way along the path flanked by water. The rope handle divided them from the edge and extended to the end of the exhibit. ”I don’t know why we never came here when we first talked about this bird… it’s like we never did anything fun we thought of.”
He stopped at a plaque in the middle of the quiet dome, the descriptions to read on the bird lining the walkway. Skimming he learned they liked anchovies, or small fish like fish feed or bait as a couple of the blue feet hopped greedily over, believing there was lure but also flying away from him. ”If it wasn’t for you, I’d never know these existed but you don’t even seem to like birds.”They were wolves and though he was masking it, he couldn’t prevent emanating his mood swing and predatorial second nature and the birds never came nearer. Occasionally, he watched those fly, bright colours a living work of art, but only carrion birds ever landed around him like harbingers of death.

Looking as she walked, he admired her wholly but felt his ambitions deserting him, biding time for what he really needed to know.”Imagine if you could leave with me and be gone by tomorrow… we could do everything we talked about.” He reached over to pull out the wine and uncapped it, taking a swig, wishing they didn’t hang in limbo, mentally putting it down into writing because she was the one with her hand on the steering wheel. If they cleared all the cobwebs and dust from their pasts, he asked himself if he would still uncover her secrets. He would drop everything, having found his place, no longer a vagabond, the elusive yes floating in her abyss. Turning to face her, he meagerly smiled in a dignified expression as he ran a hand atop the twisted rope border and counted the steps he slowly paced unceremoniously towards the double door exit. Pushing the door open by leaning against it, taking a lingering full view of the birds, taking the wondrous atmosphere to be locked away, the memory in a keepsake of his mind palace.

[Natasha Black]

Spending most of her free time studying, Tash tried to keep her mind busy. She had learned the best way to keep the thought you didn't want crossing your mind at bay was to fill your mind with information you needed to retain.Repeating it over and over again till it was all you mind could focus on. "Studying is the easy part.If you pay attention in class they feed you all the answers, unlike life where you have to find them all yourself " Learning new things always came easy to her, chemistry was a breeze in high school and it was no different here. It was memorization and she had used whatever she was studying at the time to help shield her thoughts from the pack whenever she patrolled. It might have been annoying but they probably would have learned something from it. She didn't know what he was poking at mentioning if she found out what she was looking for. It's not that she was looking for anything. She wanted to blaze her own path in life, whether it destroyed her bonds or not. Being a part of a pack meant there was someone you always had to answer to in this case it was her brothers. Her job was to protect the people in the reservation from the vampires that may try them. As far as she knew the Cullen's were the reason for the increased vampire activity and now they had moved on for a while. There were hardly any vampires around. She only saw Claude every once and a while and he wasn't a threat to anyone. He didn't even attempt to cross the treaty line. Donna's presence was even more rare. She wasn't needed there anymore. There were enough of them to protect a city yet alone a little reservation.

"Of course I met new people and the parties were okay. I can't ever be fully myself around them though. There is a lot I have to hide, not let myself get too angry or upset. It is harder than I thought it would be." Most people would find the social stuff easy. She used to in high school greet all the new students at school and join clubs just to make friends. Here she was a bit more reserved but people still sought her out. She knew it was probably just her looks. Just like the vampires they seemed to be cursed with beautiful faces. She didn't always like all the attention but she was friendly, there was no reason to push people away here. In a few years no one would remember her anyways, Daniella would probably be the only one who she really she have a bond with after college.


Nemo comes home.. The words hung in her ears,she knew what she was saying but just wanted to see if he would catch it. No matter where he would always want to be with him, even if she wasn't the one he would bring home to his mom she would always be there for everytime he wanted her to be. Before she had left she had spent many hours with him,it wasn't always just her being flirty trying to keep his attention. She deliberately fell asleep at his house just to be closer to him. Tash would lie about it; she says she had a long night patrolling but she hadn't been on duty. She just wanted to be near just in case Embry came to confront him about what happened before and now she had shown interest in Catcher herself she was worried what Em might do. He decided against butting in but didn't want him to be driven away; Catcher didn't deserve to be because she wanted him. "I know Nemo's story all too well. I'll find my way home as long as Dory is willing to stick with me." She wanted him to stick with her and one day she would be ready for anything. She needs time to find a way to build herself stronger than before. She knew she had to take a leap of faith, forget what her head told her and let her heart think again.

She listened as he tried to explain the dye situation. She only mentioned it to hear his thoughts about the whole situation. She never wore pink, whoever chose the colour was a complete moron. What she liked was more into anything that didn't include pink. Catcher chased after her and quickly caught empty sounding threats of dying her blue. He took a few chips and started on a twinkie. She watched as she shoved the whole thing in his mouth. She almost wished they were in cartoons, she could picture the cream filling exploding out of his nose. His actions at the thought made her chuckle a bit. "I might let you dye my feet blue. Only if it wasn't permanent,I grew to like my white fur. I don't blend into all the greenery too well but it sort of makes me unique." She stepped one foot in front of the other like she was walking a sobriety test. He mentioned Veronica, they were once best friends but the bond seemed to be dissolving."We actually don't talk much anymore, I should reach out. There were some tense moments between her and I. You were there so there's not much point in bringing them back up." She didn't know if it was the time they had spent apart or Veronica's new drinking habits but there was some tension between them that needed to be resolved . they just need to find the time to talk about it.

She walked into the aviary, she kept darting her eyes around hoping there wasn't a loose bird inside that would come and swoop down at them. "I never really wanted to be too far from home. Forks was a ticking time bomb with all the vampires around back then. I can't count how many times I almost ripped one apart. Never got the chance, the pack would chase them off." His eyes fell on the little bobbing birds with the blue feet. She didn't like birds much but there was something about them that was so comical that she couldn't hate them. She watched as they waddled around their feet looked too big for their bodies. Maybe it's because they were ground dwelling birds that helped her like them a little more."I like the boobies because they don't look sinister and I'm sure they won't try to peck my eyes out." The thought made her cringed a little. She had always been a little freaked out by birds, the ones who ate off the dead carcasses of other animals were the worst.

She walked a little further down the exhibit and he wanted her to imagine if she could leave with him and be gone tomorrow. She would drop anything for Catcher, if he told her to leave school and join the circus she probably would. "I'd go anywhere and everywhere with you if you really wanted me too." She let her heart lead at this moment, not letting her head reach out to silence it. She did anything he asked,even if it was an internal struggle to find her own balance, it wasn't a balance she needed to open up,pull her curtains open and let him see more of her heart.

She turned to see him leaning against the doors. He seemed to be making a memory of this place. She stopped in front of him. She placed a hand on his chest. She was going to let him in more tonight, even if it was a bad idea."Earlier you asked me a question if I found what I was looking for, really wasn't looking for anything.I just didn't want to constantly feel someone else had control over my life. Fate can try to convince you that you're in the right place. I had to take control of it myself. Honestly if I didn't decide to take control of my life, you wouldn't probably be standing here with me. The night at the beach I knew you weren't over Veronica." She dropped the bag down and landed safely on the ground at her feet.

Natasha reached up, playing with the strand of hair that fell in front of his face and pushed it out of the way." I pushed past what you had mentioned about her and I didn't care what Veronica thought. I might have never said this to you but I think you're beautiful. It's not just your pretty boy face that got me noticing you, it's your heart." She let her hand wander down his chest and she put her right hand in his and placed the other over his heart."Baby we might not have a love song because they are too short and I don't need a fairy tale because life isn't perfect. All I need you to know is you got me." She couldn't come out and say the three words that held so much power, but she hoped he understood what she was saying. She reached up, placing her hand against his cheek. "You can't let this change your plans, and I can't let it change mine, wherever you go whether I'm with you or not. I might not always be at your side but you'll always have a part of me." She pressed herself up against him, wrapping her arms lightly around him, staying there for a moment. She pulled away slowly. "Let's go find the koalas."


She picked up the bag of snacks,started dragging him away from the aviary. She was here once before trying to plan out a date for them, so she knew where the fuzzy little creatures were. They were a distance away but she felt lighter almost like she was floating letting him know things that she had been holding back.

[Catcher Reeves]

”Why am I not surprised?” He patted her head in jesting patronization, she was always a good student and the only thing that made him wonder if she’d deviated was the fact she was different in every other aspect of things nowadays. ”If they make you upset and angry, just avoid them. You don’t owe them anything. If you start accommodating too much, you’ll never get out of it… then when you make it known, they’ll think it’s a sudden change, and it’s all you. I guess making CBD helps? You’ve been eating gummies, I can tell. ” His eyes narrowed as he licked and bit his lip slightly, examining her intricate face. ”Were you just putting up with someone to go to a party tonight?” Unable to put up much of a front, he despised fake people and read them within the first few moments, appearing standoffish until he found something worth warming up to. Catcher was only social when he tried to be, and if it wasn’t for an exceptional reason, he didn’t act overly welcoming, just as nice and polite as possible to do his part. If it worked out, he would do his best to let them know he’d keep his word for whatever he said to them no matter how long time passed in between. It was probably why he never attempted to penetrate her complexly woven web of popularity before, the sticky barriers engulfing everyone who did. He had never met someone as loved as her and he only served to inflate that.

”If you find it hard, think about all the people trying to approach and not even coming close.” That was everybody, including himself and it wasn’t all about her beauty either, it was an internal caution that you couldn’t avoid being attached to her once you met her, yet you would never escape once you did. However, nobody could deny that she was very alluring and he wondered whether she was troubled by the number of acquaintances she could make but never turn into noble compatriots.
”You’ve got a roommate now, how’s that atleast?” He was asking her more questions than he ever spoke on a regular basis but it was easy with her and Seth; they made him someone different, someone outgoing, someone he didn’t recognise. Burning his heart out until he was ash over seas; how could he put it more simply that he was growing frail and all his bones were on the mend, limerent for years over her. Maybe it was because after all these exchanges, they would part like rivers do, and he would count on the interaction turning into dust so he let his veneer of composures drop.

”Then you know Dory doesn’t have any other purpose than to find Nemo, swimming entire oceans looking for memories.” It couldn’t be a better metaphor and he was slightly perplexed, looking within himself; it wasn’t exactly a good thing or admirable to be simpering. Eventhough they were still figuring this out, it felt like they had it all right in front of them, but they kept blinking to miss it all. He was tired of the red tape holding them onto heartache but replayed what she said about going on having had her love taken, and he just kept dreaming to catch that feeling.

”It’ll be fun to make a change but I was joking. On a snow day, we’ll see what you think when you’re invisible.” He had watched her daintily take the steps as though she was on a tight rope and thought about her feet being blue like the birds, noticing she had found it funny while he ate, finishing off the second chocolate twinkie. Thinking it’d be cool to have a wolf with dyed patterns; he imagined it but thought it wouldn’t suit her. ”If there’s something I can say to her, let me know. It’s not just her going through some things…” But Veronica acted like she was alone.Trailing off, he didn’t think he’d have much of any effect on Veronica and she really wouldn’t want his help; he wasn’t sure how much he wanted to either. They no longer talked beyond the texts and it wasn’t conscious avoidance, there was nothing to share and no point opening up the past; they were better off on different sides of a coin.

His mind blanked for the while she said birds would peck her eyes out and he had no idea how anyone would think about that without some sort of trauma. It put a bewildered expression on his face, creasing his brows and keeping his sight of her enlarged, incredulous; it was only a continued expression from when she had said she almost ripped apart a few vampires but never got the chance, like a bloodthirsty war maiden. ”Vampires are alright. I never got the whole thing here but everyone’s just trying to survive in a melting pot. If you killed one you can never go back, I’m kinda glad you didn’t.” If she had, would she have looked at Claude the same? That would have set back her hopes to manage the anger and hurt inside her, and she would never be able to control it like she has so far. She needed to get out of this town for a trip, walk out of the enmity between territories here and he wanted to make that possible.
”The boobies can hear you, they know they’re special now.” Half sarcastic because these birds were so rare, he started cracking up in his usual quiet way, slightly turned from her, pausing from time to time because she was so serious about everything that she was now the one who sounded sinister.

When she reached him and answered instead of accepting what he had said as nothing more than a fantasy, he tried to hide the fact that he blamed himself for musing in the first place. The imagination was just his own, and he never bid on her having a second thought or caring. What was he supposed to think of what she said; it was a mind versus heart obstacle course. It snapped him out of all the effects of the past few weeks, the drink, the drugs and whatever advice he had taken or ignored. It was the same fight that keeps him at their crash site, unable to lapse it or surrender. ”I’d never let you throw away what you have…” He would go down with a sinking ship if she willed it but he couldn’t erase all his bad intentions to steal her either. He couldn’t rest and he couldn’t fight but somehow they were under the moon, the stars and could never tell each other three words.

Just letting him adore her seemed like the only thing she’d ever let him do. She would be the one he would talk about in all his stories and he wished it wasn’t what she didn’t realize it actually was; a fairytale. These were the original ones where it was a forewarning for children, where bad things happened and the end was never happy. ”You’re saying anywhere and everywhere but… not here… not now, not ever…“ It blurted from him, the buildup of many confusing questions bouncing like atoms inside until eventually one burst through, shooting clean through his heart. His voice fell away as he evaluated what she said and what he should have said, disenchanted. All she had to do was ask him, ask anyone they knew. He was caught in the crossfire of every reason she had given to disassemble them even though every single word she had told him was as perfect as it could be. Her feelings were a token he would take with him wherever he ended up, to his inevitable end. He knew that this time it wasn’t all in his head, and he was unhappy with the nothing he could do not to end up monochrome in her colourful world. Under his breath, he reminded himself, haunted with finality, hardly audible but also no longer caring if she heard. ”I’ll never be him.”

Pulling himself together he flailed a hand, looking at her in dismay, dissatisfied that somehow everything still wasn’t enough for her to choose. They were chosen, things didn’t just fall into place without reason, and they were not random. She just kept knocking him off his feet with her bittersweet resistance and it was almost too much for him like an unbreakable, worsening addiction. Coming back for more, he was trying to pretend she wouldn’t rather be alone and continue pushing and pulling, knowing what she was doing. It was that penultimate moment he had to begin declaring she beat him at his own game. Every step he took was to shake off his brooding as quickly as possible; it was a little strange now that the desperation had gone and fled when she professed she couldn’t love him more than she already did without further truth. He hadn’t been careful what he wished for, and asking her more questions didn’t save him from possible lies; obtaining her truths was a daunting task, more demanding than praying for a miracle. ”You’re just saying the words that I want you to say.”

The doors had almost revolved in time for him to fall back into the vast outside with her. She had her hand on his chest and then lightly clinched him; it was heartfelt and he could feel himself fracturing throughout as she held his hand in hers. ”Since the beach and while you were gone… there is no more Veronica, there never will be. There’s just been you.“In that illustration, she had shown him that she could make him feel like they were ever after but he would die every day that she was away from him. When she called him baby, he felt the woe of her calling him by name again someday soon. He would never truly know he had her because she would never be his. ”If I don’t let this change plans then why can’t I just change plans for this? I can’t ask you to wait but I…” She didn’t want him to wait either and he didn’t know why; it stabbed at his breaths, like he was to blame for the distrust, the lack of faith, the refusal of a pledge. No words of honour given to her would assure her. He cut off and restarted without the words that screamed out loud what he wanted, tiny fractures from earlier branching into what comes after.

Forcing a smile, he gazed at their hands thinking about couples holding hands on a runway, reckoning he would always be a solo shadow on the side walk. ”I guess Koalas are going to make up for it.” With gusto, she tugged him along, ever the more carefree and he tried with all his might to follow suit, still anchored to this eternal make up and break up. Attacks and defenses ambushing him every sentence, there was violence in all his silence; the koalas would just be some sort of peace. With the wave of her hand it would rain or shine and he couldn’t explain what she did to him, his heart was being ripped out still beating, giftwrapped in blood dripping all the beauty she saw in him and he was handing it to her, eyes closed. Her hand on his cheek had been a pen filling the blank spaces with lines of all things unwritten and unsaid, the loose strand of hair she had pushed out of his face he wanted to slice off for her, their parting memento. While he had been getting to her she would look for love in every stranger until she got back to him. It would all be cropped and he wouldn’t remember this feeling anymore as time stopped for no one, not the fool for dreaming.

”Did you come hug them before…” She was fast paced, the distance covered easily missed as he let her take lead, not entirely convinced that was even feasible for her and he stated dubiously. The scented breeze blowing past them carried him on air with her though his feet felt like they no longer belonged, his head in the storm clouds. ”Don’t tell me it’s why you slept at the goat barn…” Catcher braked systematically, smelling the air in the avenue, the marsupials somewhere next to them as they arrived where the herbivores dwelled, slackening her pace.

As he halted them, he stared glumly into the trees in the lowly fenced compound. They were camouflaged but he spotted a fluffy ball, round and slow moving, head rotating like an owl to see him, holding tightly to an Eucalyptus tree with all four limbs; the aroma of the plant very distinct and blending with the mild scent of the koala’s dense fur. His eyes flicked to Natasha for a second, seeing what her reaction was before he made up his mind to just jump over the restricted zone. His landing caused the animals to all turn in their positions, and their big round eyes watched without emoting, some of them beginning to chew on a leaf. The dark shiny eyeballs like black mirrors that scryed the future. They were not bears, but often mistaken as such and he thought it was crazy that people asked if they were dangerous. The more he eyed them, the less he fretted about everything with Natasha, the next few days, the end of the months away, how he would return to her and he weaved between the trees extra calmly, observing each koala to quiet his mind.

At this point he had no intention of grabbing them or even disturbing them, but it amused him that they barely moved up or down, sitting on branches, round ears shifting and mouths chewing so he plucked a young twig of leaves and held it to one that looked back at him curiously. They were captive enough they didn’t seem to startle by their intrusion but he was hyperaware of himself as it’s clawed paw picked the stem from his hand and nibbled the shoot. His eyebrows flew up and his mouth opened in surprise and he snapped another freshly green sprout and waved it in front of the koala, a smile flickering on and off on his face as it captivated him. This repeated itself until he finally reached toward it at a snail’s pace to touch its plump side, his fingertips smoothly combing across the lustrous silken coat of grey, childlike with marvel. Petting it tenderly, he stroked the fur like it was the warmest cushion, plush as the coziest thing in a Nordic winter.

Natasha was still there, and he pressed his eyes together to focus, withdrawing his hand to look back at her, an ample smile settling and embellishing how he felt, beholden to her that this moment had temporarily been therapeutic. They did alter his temperament but it never would change the fact that when the day was done, she wouldn’t be solely his and he’d have better luck finding love in the middle of a pouring rain. He’d have to find a way to leave this place with the little piece of him left in her. Daylight would speak to him as it carried her away and took him home but he couldn’t fully let go of the feeling inside he wanted her to know. It was holding him hostage to her and the koalas just painted a clearer picture that she understood him unlike anyone else. In that instant he irrevocably fell for her.